I Have a Confession...

So...I have a confession to make. Contrary to popular belief (of my kids, at least), I am NOT Wonder Woman.  I know that shocks so many of you...wink, wink.  The truth is, the past few weeks I haven’t really been feeling myself.  I have been struggling with some health (and emotional) concerns that took my feet right out from under me.  And trying to be the strong person I want to be, I kept pushing through it.  Until, my mind and body finally gave out under the pressure.  So, there you have it...my secret is out.  

My guess is that many of you have been where I am.  You have felt overwhelmed, overworked, and just flat out behind on EVERYTHING!  Maybe you have been discouraged that you aren’t having the kind of influence you desire-in your home, your business, your community.  It’s not an easy place to spend your time.  And sometimes it takes bottoming out to get us moving back up again.

So here’s to rising up!  I am learning so much about myself, my capabilities, and how God needs to use me.  And the discoveries are amazing, and terrifying at the same time.  It’s time for me to step up and make a bigger difference in this world.  It’s time for me to uplevel my role as a mother and wife, and disciple of Christ.  And it’s time for me to live more intentionally.

More than anything, it’s time for change.  Nothing major, mind you, but small steps in the right direction that eventually lead to the end goal.  And that starts today.

I know one thing...It is possible for us to change.  It is possible to wrap our old mistakes, choices, and bad habits in a cocoon and let them die so we can emerge the butterfly we were designed to be.  The transformation may not be pretty.  We may experience the “goo” stage in the cocoon where if you opened us up, you might not find anything that resembles a caterpillar or a butterfly.  And the transformation may hurt a little.  Or maybe a lot.  It may require us getting honest with ourselves about things we haven’t wanted to face.  It may take some serious gut checking and getting real, and taking responsibility for our own outcome.  And it comes step by step.  But, we will never be the butterfly if we refuse to change.

So, here’s to Rising Up and Becoming.  Here’s to Change.  Because, You and I...We Were Born to FLY!  

Doing What God Asked

About 6 years ago I found myself really struggling to just keep my head above water.  The workings of life gave me every reason to be happy, but I just wasn't!  And I hadn't been for quite some time.  

After being punched in the nose by the 2nd grade bully in 1987, my thoughts took a toxic path and made a mess of my perception of myself and others.  By the time I was a senior in high school I was feeling pretty dark inside and wondering if anyone even cared I existed. 

One night, after an especially hard dance at school, I called up a friend and told him I wasn't going to make it.  He asked me "Who are you fighting?"  

I listed off all the people who had made fun of me, teased me, mocked me, or just plain ignored me for the past 10 years.  I was angry, hurt, and discouraged beyond what I thought I could handle.

After I had sufficiently cried myself into a headache, he finally said, "That's not who you are fighting.  You are fighting Satan, and you are letting him win.  He knows he won't tempt you to do drugs, be immoral, or even slough school.  So he's going to get you another way, through your mind.  And you are letting him win."

Now, them's fighting words.  

There was no way I was going to sit back and play on the team of some who loses the fight in the end.  I was angry.  Angry at myself.  But even more angry at Satan.  From that day on, I realized that all the things people were saying to me were just his lies that he wanted me to believe.  

I wrote down on note cards the phrase "Don't let him win!"  I posted them all over the house, in my car, my saxophone case, my locker.  Anywhere I could be reminded of who was trying to destroy me.  And I used my anger and hurt to fight back against the real opponent.  And I learned something very key.

It's not what people say to us that hurts us.  It's what we say to ourselves after.

Satan plants a seed of doubt and we decide whether to let it grow.

That night, on the phone with my friend, was a turning point for me.  The beginning of a 16 year journey to discover who I really am.  Who God designed me to be.  Who He believes that I am.  Not what Satan wants me to believe. 

It took me another 11 years of struggling, praying, and trying every solution under the sun to gain control over that mess in my head before I was led to an answer.  And that answer came by way of learning how to control my thoughts, get my Spirit in charge, and learn to listen.  To God.  To what HE wants me to know.

And my life has changed dramatically.  Is it easy?  Nope.  I still have my daily challenges to keep my head and heart in check.  I still have many moments when I want to doubt my divine worth.  Daily I face thoughts that want to destroy me.  Lies.  Lies that try to tell me that I am still nobody special.  

And then...I tell myself.  "Don't let him win."

And I am able to stop the negative cycle of toxic thoughts and get myself back in check with God.

It has taken me years of consistent and persistent work.  And some days I wonder if it was really worth it. 

And then, I gut check with myself, tune into my heart, and know.  

Know that God needs me to be THIS person.  God needs me to know what I know and help others with what He has taught me.  

God needs me to shine my light so others can know that there is hope.

Hope to get out of the dark hole we often find ourselves in.  

Hope that if you could get just a glimpse of light, you would see that leaning against the dark wall in your hole is a ladder.  A ladder which leads to a happy, peace filled life.  Where your Soul is in charge.  Where God is guiding you. Where you are living as the person God designed you to be.  

And it's a wonderful place.  

It's time to get out of the dark hole.  And you can do it.  

And if YOU are the person God wanted me to reach with my book, then I thank you for asking Him for help.  Because I have learned so much more than you will ever know by doing what God asked.

To find out more about the book visit www.jimmyandshelly.com/mymbook

Three Easy Ways to Gain More Focus

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE THIS?

If your answer is yes, here are three simple ways to close some of the tabs and gain more focus and productivity.

1.  Brain dump:  Your conscious mind (the one that makes all the decisions) can only handle so much at one time.  When you overload it with things to think about, it starts letting go of what seems less important at the time.  Unfortunately, that often is some of the really important stuff when it comes to our productivity.  Your brain wants to know that at some point you are going to address all the decisions it needs to make without you forgetting about them.  So, write them all down in a place your brain can trust (your phone or ONE notebook).  Schedule time to address them later and then allow your brain to let go of them and focus on the here and now!   Watch a video HERE that shares my favorite ways to do this.

3.  Pick three things that need your attention today.  List them in priority.  Have a detailed plan of the steps to accomplish those things.  Then focus on just one at a time.  Most people think they can multitask-but it's really a myth.  You will get more done if you focus on one thing until it's done.  And your brain REALLY likes finishing things and actually helps you get more done when it knows you are actually checking things off completely.  

2.  Take a deep breath:  Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.  Consciously set aside all the things on your mind and just be still for a moment.  Visualize the things that need to happen today and see yourself accomplishing them with focus.  Continue to breathe deeply.  Just 10 deep breaths can take your body out of fight or flight to a place where you can think more clearly.  

Do you struggle to break projects down into bits sized pieces?  Our Goal Chunking program can help.  Click here to check it out.

Words of a Champion

"When I first began competing, my competition was everyone else.  I compared my weaknesses to their strengths, belittling me own strengths and discounting my successes.  I focused on who they were and where they were going.  I wanted what they had and couldn't see past my own insecurities.  One of the greatest lessons we can learn in this life is that our fiercest competition will always be with ourselves."  -Noelle Pikus Pace, Olympic Skeleton Athlete

This statement in Noelle's book Focused: Keeping Your Life on Track, One Choice at a Time, is something we all struggle with.  Why do we do it to ourselves?  Why do we look side to side, wondering how me measure up to the person next to us.  A few paragraphs later, Noelle shares this profound statement.  

"Comparing myself to other athletes, even in the world of competition, never brought success to my career.  It only brought discouragement, a lack of self-worth, and a constant flow of negative thoughts."

It's so true.  Think about it?  Does comparing yourself to anyone else ever make you feel better and make you perform better?  Nope! So, LET IT GO!

It's OK to have success, and to let others have it too.  When someone else shines, it doesn't dim your light!

I worked with a competitive dance team and their motto was "The only dancer you should compare yourself to is the one you used to be."  What a great perspective. 

When my athletes step off the track discouraged by the outcome of the race, I always ask them "Did you give everything you had to give today?  Did you do YOUR very best?"  If the answer is yes, hold your head high.  I don't care if you came in last, as long as you gave me your very best.  If you can't answer yes to that question-let's evaluate what you can do next time.  

Let go of the comparing and be the best you!  Let that be enough...because it is!

And...check out Noelle's book.  It's a really good read.

What Goes In Must Come Out!

We are all aware that the food we put into our body finds it's way out of our body in some way.  My 6 year old was fighting a touch of nausea a few nights ago.  Every time she took a drink, it would come right back up.  She looked at me in desperation and said "I wish it would come out some other way."  

The fact of the matter is, your input determines your output.  And not just in food.

What are you putting into your mind?  Does it inspire you? Uplift you?  Motivate you to be a little better, do a little more good?  

Or does is expire you?  Does it leave you feeling hollow and empty?  Or worse?!

Just like my 6 year old, sometimes we don't always know, or get to choose, how things come back out.  Does it come out in your words?  Results?  Habits?  Behaviors?  Attitude?

When my kids watch a movie that has a scary twist to it (not too scary) before they go to bed, without fail, at least one of them wakes up with a nightmare.  An output.  One that they couldn't control once the input went in. 

Are you aware of your input?  Are you listening to music that motivates you to do good?  Are you watching TV and movies that inspire you to make life better for someone?  Are you reading material that puts your mind in a positive place and inspires hope and growth?  Are you engaging in conversations that lift others up or bring them down?

Are you happy with your output?  Your results?  Your behaviors?  If not...change your input!

Zig Ziglar said "You are where you are and what you are because of what you put into you mind.  You can change where you are and what you are by changing what goes into your mind." 

It's intentional!  Don't just wait around hoping that somebody shares something uplifting with you.  Seek it out.  Make a choice to turn off things that don't support you and turn on things that do.  

And if it overwhelms you to change all your input at once, pick one thing you could add to your day that would uplift you.  After a while, add something else.  Then add some more.  Eventually, you won't have time for the old habits of negative input because you will be too busy with the new input.